Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize