Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
