There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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