MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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