Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
