Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
