You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I would ride that face into the sunset
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
