The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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