the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
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