I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
someone owes me an orgasm
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
