Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize