can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
