Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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