Me. At least after what I've been through.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
How naked do you want me to be?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
