Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
