And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
