That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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