Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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