i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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