So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
