fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
