the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
