I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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