well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
