wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
