Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
