i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
