I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
