escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
