I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
organizing the empties. That sober.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
