apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
