I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
