he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
