I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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