69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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