we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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