So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
