sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
