We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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