and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
either way he was missing a nipple.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
