hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
