i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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