love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
