could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize