I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
