i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
