never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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