i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
