White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
