so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
