Banned from zoo.
Again?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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