I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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