I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize