i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
