she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Someone signed my nipple.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
