I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
that's an acceptable place to lick
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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