No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
