you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Randomize
