Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
