could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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