Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
