i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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